I just have to breathe one air at a time.

I'm suppose to write a final paper tonight, but because I have to let go of this thought tonight, I decided to blog about it.

Though my graduation status is hanging because of things I don't expect for now, one thing is for sure, I only have less than 3 terms to enjoy what college has to offer. I am happy that I was able to be active in an organization, pursued the course that I wanted, and had true friends who accepted me for who I am.

Don't get me wrong, di pa ako gragraduate, kaya wala akong karapatang mag-emo. Di ko pa natitikman ang impyerno ng thesis (though technically, we don't have a thesis) at practicum, but when you let someone know especially your relatives that you are about to graduate, especially you as a political science student, pressure comes before you know.

While going to school, my mom asked me the million dollar question: "Anak, anong balak mo pagkagraduate mo sa June?" The same moment I felt when Mr. Malbarosa and Dr. Batalla asked me "Why I took Political Science?" For the first time since I left Plaridel to run as Sports Ed for The LaSallian, I felt the uncertainty to answer.

I tried to ignore the question for the reason that I don't know the answer. What I only plan to is this, I shall RUN AWAY from the Philippines for a couple of months, explore the United States as a tourist. So she knew that plan of mine I have been sharing for years. Yet, she answered, "while there, look for certificate courses. Like politician blah-blah, certificate course lang kinuha sa harvard, sino na siya ngayon." or this option my mom and my dad has been telling me, "o kaya anak, palakad ka sa Tito Erik mo, total naman, kavibes sila ni Nancy Pelosi (US House Speaker), baka maipasok ka niya sa Fulbright scholarship. Anak! Fulbright yun! Clinton, diba idol mo yun?" Again, I don't know what to answer.

To complicate things, my tita in the mother side wants me to apply for law school. she said, "she's willing to go the extra mile, para magkapamangkin ako na lawyer." my mom said that if it wasn't for her sister giving career advices, she won't be who she is now. the problem is, my heart is not for law. i despise the fact memorizing articles, paragraphs, cases, and routines that i know i won't be good at. yes, i dreamed once to be a lawyer, but it was for the sake of "maiba lang" cause everyone wanted to be a doctor, teacher, nurse, fireman, etc. but it was only a dream. besides, i don't want to be compared with one low-life i know. i heard things from the close people sa kanya comparing me to him. duhhhhh! presidente gusto niya, ako senado lang. yes, that's the irony of it, i want to legislate laws, but i don't want to be lawyer. i want to be a maker, a representative, not someone who is bound by rules and ought to interpret it.

Let's make things complicated, my tita, this time in the father side wants me to pursue what i like, journalism. so it happens, she's a high ranking executive at the nation's leading broadsheet. the opportunity is there, and i have a hungry heart and passion for it, and as she assured me that when i finished, shoo-in na raw ako. first, it wasn't my character to be on the field i am currently. but hearing stories from people definitely tapped the sleeping spirit i have on this thing. the problem is, my parents are against it. they even discouraged me from taking up communication arts in college. they said, "skill lang yan jady, importante, isip ang ginagamit" i found ways to pursue this in college.

balancing two worlds is already hard to juggle, and here comes the third complicator: to be able to participate in a non-stock non-profit organization. you could compare this to the so-called obama babies. where they were asked to register and vote, and now, they are ardently campaigning for obama's agenda. so parang they are organizing this kinda group, and they want me to be part of it. it's actually good, self-fulfilling din siya for me. and it could start my political career too.

So there, before I make any decision, I must pass this term muna, what a hell term so far! I think I just have to breathe one air at a time.

HOWEVER, I have to act now, it might be too late, but i must act soon.

Bastusan Roces pala gusto niyo ah!?

"Rules are meant to be followed religiously, known to both parties, and fits on all occasions".
Ayan ay isang simpleng definition kung ano ba ang batas, palatuntunin, rules. Subalit ngayong araw, sa isang laro na inaabangan ng buong taong bayan, naramdaman ko ang paglabag ng tatlong aspeto na 'yan sa tatlong oras na laro.

I'm not pointing this at the players, decisions made by the board, and a pending decision about Webb's unsportsmanship foul on the fourth quarter. I applaud ateneo for winning the game. After all, basketball is determined by the number of points made, not by the intensity of hearts outpoured. Again, it's a classic. A classic that I will never forget. Not for the reason for its classicity, but the damage it has done to me, as a Lasallian, as a journalist, and as a person.

While waiting for the most anticipated UAAP game to start (admit it, this is the only game everyone is dying for), The 4 OFFICIAL journalist of LaSalle entered. Yes, as La Salle and ateneo called for unity in celebrating the life of President Corazon Aquino, Mav (Sports Editor of Plaridel), FJ (Photo Editor of Plaridel), Justin (Photo Editor of The LaSallian), and me (Sports Editor of The LaSallian) have this some kinda euphoria.

As we entered the HIGHLY SECURED South Gate (take note, sa 3 games na napanood ko sa Araneta, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng 5 pulis sa gate na ito), we were asked only to have 2 people on the courtside. The wristband issuers did not mention if it is only for photographers or writers or a combination. So since it's our coverage, Justin and I got the wristband.

So there, we were sitting pretty on the first half of the game. Then we decided to transfer on the other court to get closer shots, and at first, we were asked to be out of the court. I don't know why. Usually, we get to stay there even though cheering is in progress. In any case, we didn't care, we continued. We thought it was just for clearing purposes. Then again, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME, we were asked again to get out of the premises.

then we got in the holding press area, then suddenly i feel that nandilim ang paningin ko. gusto ko nang magwala. All of a sudden, these people from the "mainstream media" voted themselves only to allow 10 people in the courtside. So without our knowledge, we were voted out, and ejected.

Then this old lady, na UST game pa lang, asar na asar na ako, told us na, hindi na kami (ni Justin) makakabalik. So lintik na! I was thinking that time, "Shet! Sira na ang article!". So outside, nagwala talaga ako. Then someone from a broadsheet that changed it template for someone approached me and said what happened. I was completely pissed.

So I re-entered, dahil tawag nga daw kami. so sabi, dahil nagrereklamo raw ang LaSalle dahil maraming Atenista ang nakakapasok sa courtside, vice versa. so kung yun lang pala ang isyu, kaya nga kami may SEASON PASS, dahil kahit anong circumstances, covered kami. Second, kaya nga may MASTER LIST na nirerenew every single game, dahil alam na kung sino ang nabibigyan ng wristband. at pangatlo, kaya nga mayroong tinatawag na CHAIN OF COMMAND, dahil kung ano ang utos sa taas, dapat maski Janitor, alam.

Okey na sana sa akin yung policy na ganoon. KASO ANG KINAASAR KO LANG, ang pagsabi sa amin in the middle of the game. Nakabalik si Justin sa loob, samantalang ako, palibut-libot sa apat na sulok ng araneta. ilang beses akong pinapalayas ng mga bouncers at medics. ilang beses akong nasiko ni Cardona. ilang beses akong nadapa sa mga kable. ilang beses akong tinakpan ng buong archers sa pagcocover, wala ang angal. trabaho ko ito, at dahil may batas, susunod ako.

If you want to abide by the rules:
- PRACTICE IT, WHETHER WINNING OR LOSING. Rules are constant on a game, you don't say FOUL when you only think of yourself.

If you want to make rules:
- KNOW WHAT YOUR OPPONENT IS CAPABLE OF. You may control everything, but your opponents know more than you know. Kaya niyo bang tawagin ng first name ang players?! Hell no.

If you want to change the rules:
- DO IT ON THE START. As what I have stated to Justin earlier the game, "Nagbabago ang rules dahil La Salle-Ateneo", and yes, I am RIGHT! Sabi ng negrong lalake kanina sa press room, "SA LASALLE-ATENEO LANG PO ITO! SA IBANG GAMES BAHALA NA KAYO! DI KAMI MAGHIHIGPIT!". Should we treat LaSalle-Ateneo always as the icing of the cake. What if the filling of the cake offers more?! Regret having a sugar-filled icing than having a sugar-free chiffon for a diabetic person.

Lastly,
If you want to dominate the rules:
- DO IT SO, WITHOUT STEPPING ON OTHERS. "Malalaman talaga ngayon kung sino ang media". Hindi kami nakikipagsabayan sa inyo. Hindi rin naman kami nakikipag-agawan sa inyo. Pero paalala lang mga katoto, may sinumpaan at sinusunod tayong "Journalism Code of Ethics" mahiya kayo na kayong matatagal na, di pa maisagawa. You shouldn't be called journalists if you don't know how to do it.

Yes, because of that incident, di na ako nag-enjoy manood, di ko na na-enjoy makisama, at higit sa lahat, nasira ang mood ko.

Sa lahat ng mga nag-tratrashtalk kay Webb, a piece of advice:
(without relation to what he did, this is an idiomatic expression. If you don't know this expression, go back to kindergarden):
"Natalisod na nga ang tao at nadapa, sinisipa niyo pa!"
Makonsensya kayo.