I just have to breathe one air at a time.

I'm suppose to write a final paper tonight, but because I have to let go of this thought tonight, I decided to blog about it.

Though my graduation status is hanging because of things I don't expect for now, one thing is for sure, I only have less than 3 terms to enjoy what college has to offer. I am happy that I was able to be active in an organization, pursued the course that I wanted, and had true friends who accepted me for who I am.

Don't get me wrong, di pa ako gragraduate, kaya wala akong karapatang mag-emo. Di ko pa natitikman ang impyerno ng thesis (though technically, we don't have a thesis) at practicum, but when you let someone know especially your relatives that you are about to graduate, especially you as a political science student, pressure comes before you know.

While going to school, my mom asked me the million dollar question: "Anak, anong balak mo pagkagraduate mo sa June?" The same moment I felt when Mr. Malbarosa and Dr. Batalla asked me "Why I took Political Science?" For the first time since I left Plaridel to run as Sports Ed for The LaSallian, I felt the uncertainty to answer.

I tried to ignore the question for the reason that I don't know the answer. What I only plan to is this, I shall RUN AWAY from the Philippines for a couple of months, explore the United States as a tourist. So she knew that plan of mine I have been sharing for years. Yet, she answered, "while there, look for certificate courses. Like politician blah-blah, certificate course lang kinuha sa harvard, sino na siya ngayon." or this option my mom and my dad has been telling me, "o kaya anak, palakad ka sa Tito Erik mo, total naman, kavibes sila ni Nancy Pelosi (US House Speaker), baka maipasok ka niya sa Fulbright scholarship. Anak! Fulbright yun! Clinton, diba idol mo yun?" Again, I don't know what to answer.

To complicate things, my tita in the mother side wants me to apply for law school. she said, "she's willing to go the extra mile, para magkapamangkin ako na lawyer." my mom said that if it wasn't for her sister giving career advices, she won't be who she is now. the problem is, my heart is not for law. i despise the fact memorizing articles, paragraphs, cases, and routines that i know i won't be good at. yes, i dreamed once to be a lawyer, but it was for the sake of "maiba lang" cause everyone wanted to be a doctor, teacher, nurse, fireman, etc. but it was only a dream. besides, i don't want to be compared with one low-life i know. i heard things from the close people sa kanya comparing me to him. duhhhhh! presidente gusto niya, ako senado lang. yes, that's the irony of it, i want to legislate laws, but i don't want to be lawyer. i want to be a maker, a representative, not someone who is bound by rules and ought to interpret it.

Let's make things complicated, my tita, this time in the father side wants me to pursue what i like, journalism. so it happens, she's a high ranking executive at the nation's leading broadsheet. the opportunity is there, and i have a hungry heart and passion for it, and as she assured me that when i finished, shoo-in na raw ako. first, it wasn't my character to be on the field i am currently. but hearing stories from people definitely tapped the sleeping spirit i have on this thing. the problem is, my parents are against it. they even discouraged me from taking up communication arts in college. they said, "skill lang yan jady, importante, isip ang ginagamit" i found ways to pursue this in college.

balancing two worlds is already hard to juggle, and here comes the third complicator: to be able to participate in a non-stock non-profit organization. you could compare this to the so-called obama babies. where they were asked to register and vote, and now, they are ardently campaigning for obama's agenda. so parang they are organizing this kinda group, and they want me to be part of it. it's actually good, self-fulfilling din siya for me. and it could start my political career too.

So there, before I make any decision, I must pass this term muna, what a hell term so far! I think I just have to breathe one air at a time.

HOWEVER, I have to act now, it might be too late, but i must act soon.

Bastusan Roces pala gusto niyo ah!?

"Rules are meant to be followed religiously, known to both parties, and fits on all occasions".
Ayan ay isang simpleng definition kung ano ba ang batas, palatuntunin, rules. Subalit ngayong araw, sa isang laro na inaabangan ng buong taong bayan, naramdaman ko ang paglabag ng tatlong aspeto na 'yan sa tatlong oras na laro.

I'm not pointing this at the players, decisions made by the board, and a pending decision about Webb's unsportsmanship foul on the fourth quarter. I applaud ateneo for winning the game. After all, basketball is determined by the number of points made, not by the intensity of hearts outpoured. Again, it's a classic. A classic that I will never forget. Not for the reason for its classicity, but the damage it has done to me, as a Lasallian, as a journalist, and as a person.

While waiting for the most anticipated UAAP game to start (admit it, this is the only game everyone is dying for), The 4 OFFICIAL journalist of LaSalle entered. Yes, as La Salle and ateneo called for unity in celebrating the life of President Corazon Aquino, Mav (Sports Editor of Plaridel), FJ (Photo Editor of Plaridel), Justin (Photo Editor of The LaSallian), and me (Sports Editor of The LaSallian) have this some kinda euphoria.

As we entered the HIGHLY SECURED South Gate (take note, sa 3 games na napanood ko sa Araneta, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng 5 pulis sa gate na ito), we were asked only to have 2 people on the courtside. The wristband issuers did not mention if it is only for photographers or writers or a combination. So since it's our coverage, Justin and I got the wristband.

So there, we were sitting pretty on the first half of the game. Then we decided to transfer on the other court to get closer shots, and at first, we were asked to be out of the court. I don't know why. Usually, we get to stay there even though cheering is in progress. In any case, we didn't care, we continued. We thought it was just for clearing purposes. Then again, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME, we were asked again to get out of the premises.

then we got in the holding press area, then suddenly i feel that nandilim ang paningin ko. gusto ko nang magwala. All of a sudden, these people from the "mainstream media" voted themselves only to allow 10 people in the courtside. So without our knowledge, we were voted out, and ejected.

Then this old lady, na UST game pa lang, asar na asar na ako, told us na, hindi na kami (ni Justin) makakabalik. So lintik na! I was thinking that time, "Shet! Sira na ang article!". So outside, nagwala talaga ako. Then someone from a broadsheet that changed it template for someone approached me and said what happened. I was completely pissed.

So I re-entered, dahil tawag nga daw kami. so sabi, dahil nagrereklamo raw ang LaSalle dahil maraming Atenista ang nakakapasok sa courtside, vice versa. so kung yun lang pala ang isyu, kaya nga kami may SEASON PASS, dahil kahit anong circumstances, covered kami. Second, kaya nga may MASTER LIST na nirerenew every single game, dahil alam na kung sino ang nabibigyan ng wristband. at pangatlo, kaya nga mayroong tinatawag na CHAIN OF COMMAND, dahil kung ano ang utos sa taas, dapat maski Janitor, alam.

Okey na sana sa akin yung policy na ganoon. KASO ANG KINAASAR KO LANG, ang pagsabi sa amin in the middle of the game. Nakabalik si Justin sa loob, samantalang ako, palibut-libot sa apat na sulok ng araneta. ilang beses akong pinapalayas ng mga bouncers at medics. ilang beses akong nasiko ni Cardona. ilang beses akong nadapa sa mga kable. ilang beses akong tinakpan ng buong archers sa pagcocover, wala ang angal. trabaho ko ito, at dahil may batas, susunod ako.

If you want to abide by the rules:
- PRACTICE IT, WHETHER WINNING OR LOSING. Rules are constant on a game, you don't say FOUL when you only think of yourself.

If you want to make rules:
- KNOW WHAT YOUR OPPONENT IS CAPABLE OF. You may control everything, but your opponents know more than you know. Kaya niyo bang tawagin ng first name ang players?! Hell no.

If you want to change the rules:
- DO IT ON THE START. As what I have stated to Justin earlier the game, "Nagbabago ang rules dahil La Salle-Ateneo", and yes, I am RIGHT! Sabi ng negrong lalake kanina sa press room, "SA LASALLE-ATENEO LANG PO ITO! SA IBANG GAMES BAHALA NA KAYO! DI KAMI MAGHIHIGPIT!". Should we treat LaSalle-Ateneo always as the icing of the cake. What if the filling of the cake offers more?! Regret having a sugar-filled icing than having a sugar-free chiffon for a diabetic person.

Lastly,
If you want to dominate the rules:
- DO IT SO, WITHOUT STEPPING ON OTHERS. "Malalaman talaga ngayon kung sino ang media". Hindi kami nakikipagsabayan sa inyo. Hindi rin naman kami nakikipag-agawan sa inyo. Pero paalala lang mga katoto, may sinumpaan at sinusunod tayong "Journalism Code of Ethics" mahiya kayo na kayong matatagal na, di pa maisagawa. You shouldn't be called journalists if you don't know how to do it.

Yes, because of that incident, di na ako nag-enjoy manood, di ko na na-enjoy makisama, at higit sa lahat, nasira ang mood ko.

Sa lahat ng mga nag-tratrashtalk kay Webb, a piece of advice:
(without relation to what he did, this is an idiomatic expression. If you don't know this expression, go back to kindergarden):
"Natalisod na nga ang tao at nadapa, sinisipa niyo pa!"
Makonsensya kayo.

Going to a debut...

Uhm, I went to a debut today, but this debut wasn't ordinary. This is my adventure today:

I made hatid to the airport my relatives who stayed here for 2 weeks. Oh at last, the house is now quiet (well, for a while, until grandpa arrives again). But then, dad received a text message that asking me to go to a debut. I know that there is a debut ongoing, though I really don't know the debutante. The name rang a bell but I really can't recall who she is.

So I went to my Lola Zeny's house. You all know recently that my Lolo Claro passed away last week. So my Lola started to weed out things. So she called up my dad if we could drop by and choose some clothing before she give some to others. Yes, happy that it is firstpick. Knowing that my Lolo Claro has a good sense of clothing. Then, I chose some of his clothes, and yes, even his ties. So dad said, "You can wear this."

So he really insisted me to go out of delicadeza, because they already said yes.

So I have no choice but to follow him. So I got up with the Black Polo. Mourning for the occassion.

Then I met the Eco-friends. :D yes, after a long time, we finally got to bond. Haha!

Even though we were beaten badly, I still scream one name: BANAL. :)

Then it was really really against my conscience to go, but I have to. So when I went there to a place that I haven't got before, it was really really awkward.

Then I sat up in front, and answering several text messages I haven't read. Then I heard a voice asking if I want to be part of the 18 roses. Uhm, why would you be part of that tradition if you don't know the debutante. It just felt so weird, and not so right! I just ignored, maybe, I had too much screaming done in Araneta that I have been hearing things.

So the debut started. I started writing my thesis proposal, but since it was really really noisy, I went out to finish. Grabe! A lot of hours wasted in my life that I could have devoted myself in academics.

Then after the party, I saw a half bottle-opened wine, so I drank all! Wohoo! So I was high, I ate a cake, and oh, I took home half the bottle of the Buko Pandan. What a way to crash a party! hahaha. That's what they get from inviting a stranger.

P.S. I BADLY MISS LUIS ALFONSO LIBO-ON REVILLA. He could have saved the game kanina. but nonetheless, I'll go for GAB BANAL this season, di ako makikisawsaw sa mga Joseph Marata fans (Hi Leah! hahaha)

Gaano ako kasabaw.

Dahil late na akong nagising para sa 11am presscon ng ABS-CBN, 10:30 na ako nakasakay ng MRT. 10:45 na sa relo ko, nasa Guadalupe pa lang ako. So nakakahiya baka malate ako ng bonggang-bongga. So eto ang kaganapan:

Pagitan ng Boni Station hanggang Shaw Blvd.
Me: Manong, anong oras na ba?
Manong: May relo ka ah!
Me: Eh kailangan ko po ng second opinion eh.
Manong: Sira ka ba! Doktor ba ang oras para magkaroon ng second opinion?
Me: Oo naman! 'Cause TIME HEALS WOUNDS!
Manong: Ikaw na ang pasyente! 10:53 na.

Wahahaha. Abangan ang aking MRT Adventures. wahahhaha

A Letter to my 18-year old self.

Dear 18-years old self,

Hi! In a few hours my biological clock shall put an end to your existence. I have been out of my mother's womb for 19 years and I still can't believe that it was that long.

I would like to thank you for everything you have taught me. Truly, this year had been very emotional for me. I made decisions that I am not sure of at the start, from changing publications, academics, and most importantly, personal self.

It's so hard to do such things, and you'll always be remembered by that. I never knew myself well until you came. You have taught me that I never did before, and yes, it was to think before acting.

Thanks to you, I have never been so stressed in my life. With all of what you call, natural comings, sure you tested who I really am.

I want to thank you for the privileges and responsibilities you brought me. From voting, to purchasing you know what in a 7-11 store.

Sorry if I have let you down several times, but nonetheless, I know I have made you proud too.

As now we part ways, I am thankful enough that you are so far the biggest sandpaper in my life, and like a diamond, may I be molded as you planned.

Until then, thank you!

With all I am,
Jady

dahil kailangan ko lang TALAGA maglabas ng sama ng loob

wala kasi yan sa pagscheschedule ng isang "pictorial" (duh, may mga facebook, multiply, friendster accounts naman kayong lahat at ugaling ugali niyong mag-camwhore), at talagang tinaon pa sa isang araw na para sa akin ay napaka-espesyal, kundi nasa mga taong makakasalumuha mo ng dalawang oras.

Diba wala na kayong paki sa akin, hindi na ako nanghihimasok sa mga desisyon niyo. Evident naman sa facebook accounts niyo ang mga saya and everything niyo, dahil may isang tao na kayong nasaktan at alam niyong humahadlang sa mga plano niyong lahat.

Sa loob ng tatlong buwan, tatlong beses niyo na rin akong nasaktan. Ganito ba ang sinasabi niyong kaibigan?! Una, ang pambobola ng lider mo, tapos may sasabihin dahil hindi niya kaya, tapos babawain, at kailangan mong tanggapin dahil TAMA siya lagi, at tapos, ni-ha ni-ho, PISO LANG MAGTEXT para magsabing natuloy siya. BUREAUCRACY at its finest! Pangalawa, alam na ngang maraming tao sa MoA, busy kami mag-usap at nalalapit na ang oras ng programa, para magsabi at lumapit lang ng "may magbabanyo", o kahit text, tapos ikaw pa ang biktima-biktimahan?! Ano ba naman yan. Pangatlo, gusto niyo akong pumunta sa isang lugar na sabi ko na sa sarili ko, ayaw ko nang tumapak muli, at kailan niyo ako gusto pumunta, sa isang araw na kailanman isinumpa niyo sa mundo?! anak ng...

Katulad ng nabanggit ko dati, hindi ko na pinag-aaksayahan ang anumang mayroon ako sa mga taong hindi naman deserve lahat ng pawis, iyak, at dugong lumalabas sa akin. Tutal naman, nakakayanan ninyong ipagpalit ang halos isang dekadang pagkakaibigan sa kawalan niyo ng initiatibo, sino ba naman ako para tumanggi, dahil tama naman lagi kayo diba?!

Matagal na akong nagtitimpi, pero sa text na natanggap ko rito, ano ba ito, nananadya?! P.I. lang talaga! At ang nakakaasar pa, pinipilit ka pa, willing pang baguhin ang petsa para lang "mapagbigyan" ako. Insensitive ba?! Sinabi ko na kahit iurong niyo 'yan sa "Til Jesus Come Day", hinding hindi hindi ako pupunta. Sinayang niyo naman ang oras ko dati, bakit ko pa sasayangin ang oras ko para diyan.

Maling desisyon. Ginawa na yan ni PGMA nung Hello Garci. Pati ba naman ang kapalaran ko dati?! Hindi ko naman hiningi yun, it was something imposed. Then another case arises now, sasabihin niyo maling desisyon yung ginawa sa akin. Ano ba naman yan?! Hindi ko sinasabing tama lang ang tinatanggap ko, ang naging masakit sa akin, ang taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko sunod sa mga magulang ko pa ang nagsabi noon. Masakit para sa akin, pero nang marealize ko na mali pala ang lahat sa akin sa simula pa lang, wala na akong magagawa kundi itama iyon.

Sabi nga ng isang lecture class ko dati, "huwag mong hayaan na sa isang organisasyon maging bonsai ka. maganda ka kung titignan pero hindi ka na lalaki dahil sa kinalalagyan mo".

PHWEH!

LMAO.

Sobra, natawa talaga ako today.

Despite of not going to classes due to very bad flood (which I missed a lot because of that), I was LMAO today, more than ever!

Aside from our EB Meeting last night, the LMAO train continued when I rewatched How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episodes 1-7 last night. (Thanks to Vic for lending me his precious CD)

Then eto pa, since my blogspot doesn't have alerts at my mail, there's a message left, siguro days from now at one of my blogs here.

I was laughing while I was reading it, di ko mapigilang matawa.

Angry ka dapat diba when you read those kind of junk diba, pero natawa lang ako kasi talaga, wahahahahahaha... aside sa katawa-tawa ang pinagsasabi niya, (giving a non-friend friendly solicitated advices) such as humanap ng alila, maarte ako and stuff... jebs lang talaga! haha.

Effective ang mirror of erised. Sabagay, birds of the same feather nga pala diba! haha. :))

Ang magreact, may prize, best actress! haha.

What if the Mirror of Erised shows up to me?

As you all know, I am taking my Harry Potter classes as my Literature Elective class. I really really adore this novel, so I'm really really having fun. And if you may ask, what house I belong to? I BELONG TO RAVENCLAW!

Anyway, we discussed book 1 today, we had this trivial trivial VERY trivial test, as in the minor details that you overlooked was asked, and alas, I got 23/25. DANG YOU TYPE OF WOOD! haha.

So as our discussion deepens, Professor Sangil asked, "What will you see in the Mirror of Erised when it shows up to you?"

While going home, I really thought about it. What will it show?

I've listed these three possibilities:

1) Senator John Daniel G. Salonga;

2) (bit personal but something to do on having a relationship); and lastly,

3) Dad called me and said that I am the prince of this kingdom. a.k.a. PRINCESS DIARIES-esque

But honestly, my co-housemate, the Headgirl is right, why should I want to see the mirror if I know it won't happen. As my professor said, "Ron's desire is BEING, Harry's desire is BECOMING". Of course, his dead parents won't live again diba?!

So what should be someone's desire: one that will be his BEING or his BECOMING?

You, what will the Mirror of Erised show you?

Nalulungkot ako para sa kapatid ko.
Naranasan niya ang ayaw kong maranasan din niya, ang umasa.
Hindi, hindi ito dahil sa pag-ibig.
Hello, 11 years pa lang siya! Di ko muna papayagan ang may manligaw! haha.
Pero, balik sa punto, umasa ang kapatid ko.
Pareho ng mga taong nagpa-asa sa akin noon.

Ganito ba talaga ang parusa sa mga mababait na tao?
Gagamitin at kapag tapos na ang silbi, wala na.
Tapos babalikan at hahanapin.

Cha-cha on PSC

I've read a news article over gmanews.tv that Speaker Prospero Nograles and a couple of representatives in the congrASS este congress wanted to have a fixed term for Philippine Sports Commission.

Nograles believes that it can implement a long-term sports program. According to him, it is sufficient to train potential athletes so that we could be competitive in a global sports world, especially on bagging our "eye-on-the-prize" olympic gold medal.

The current PSC Chair is disqualified 3rd District Manila Representative Harry Angping, whose wife is currently seating and voted for Con-Ass. My Grandfather's friend, former Manila Mayor Mel Lopez, headed PSC in the 1990s.

My reaction?

It's about time! Hello!!! I firmly believe that if there is a problem, the system and its grassroots should be addressed. If a high number of out-of-school youths can't afford even public education, investing in sports could paved way for their education. Athlete-Scholars are prized possessions of the school (believe me!). This is my grandfather's ideal, when he established BOYAA, the oldest Metro Manila Sports Community Based Organization. If I have the guts, I'll continue his advocacy.

However, I'm worried, why is this resolution now? If PGMA really wants to develop athletic holistic growth of Filipino youth, why now? Smelling politics, this would favor Angping a lot, as a reward for Nadia's vote on Con-Ass.

DepEd was Department of Education, Culture and Sports before, but now, we are reviving the sports curricula. So what happened in 8 years of Sports..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... No wonder we performed poor in Athens 04 and Beijing 08, though SEA Games in 05 was outstanding.

I'm happy that Chess is now part, I believe it would increase LOGIC and COGNITION of our Filipino youth. Aside from having 10/11 (number disputed) Grandmasters in the country, the Philippines is a sleeping giant when it comes to this sport.

For the mean time, I'll keep my eye close in this matter. I only hope Advocacy overcomes Political Patronage on this issue.

Iranian Elections

I can't help but to compare the situation Iran has now and the Philippines had in 2004. You have an incumbent running for the position and a "reformer" vowing to change things in the country. Well, I'm only aware about things in Iran is that they've blocked facebook, cellular phone network down, and a lot of things that is connected to "cheating".

Oh well, whatever Iranian decides, I just hope it would be the greater good of the world.

If you ask me, I think Mahmoud (cause I can't spell his last name CORRECTLY) is a very polarizing figure. Though applauded on his conservative tone, women's rights is still an issue. I am for the women and I think their importance in the society should be taken account to. Even though it is hundred years tradition, I firmly believe that ONE VOTE can change the course.

After this, if Gordon Brown calls for Parliament Dissolution (which is unlikely in the next couple of months), I shall turn in to the first international election I tuned in to, and was and am fascinated of. I'm thinking the Tories (or Conservatives) can regain control of the government after 12 years of the Blairian Decade. I really like Tony Blair, why does this good man have to be dragged by a President who was thrown by a shoe! haha.

Then, on October, I'll go back to the Philippine Election setting.

If you ask me, I'm pro-Cha-Cha, pro-NOW (as in now na!), but anti-Con-Ass.

Iyaking bata!!!!

Sabi sa akin ng maraming tao, lalo na nung bata ako, iyaking bata ako - sobra. Konting daplis, konting sakit lang, umiiyak na ako.

Pero narealize ko na ngayon, kakaibang iyak na ang ginagawa ko.

umiyak ako sa mga sumusunod na dahilan

1. Gusto kong pumunta sa Ako Mismo thingy, pero pinilit ng nanay ko na "magbonding" kami sa Timberland. Point niya, di pa ako nakakarating dun. Eh ang dami ko lang gagawin. So nagbrat nanaman ako today. Sa sobrang brat ko, sa buffet table, konti lang kinain ko at naghalo-halo lang ako. wala ako sobra sa mood.

2. Akala ko kaibigan ang mga taong kakilala ko. Despite being happy watching PCD last night, nawala sila parang bula, WALANG PAALAM ika nga. Then without informing you STRIKE TWO for the day. Clap clap! Wait, worth it bang iyakan ang mga taong yun in the first place.

3. Gia (our EIC) texted me and said they've scrapped my column. I know the reason, rather not disclosed it until it confirms. Alam mo yun, what I've learned from DQ (Conrade de Quiros), parang nabasura lang. :(

4. (Leah and Giselle would get this) Si bestfriend ni Manggoshake, dalawang linggo nang hindi nagpaparamdam. Today, birthday ng kuya-kuyahan ko, and hindi siya nagrereply. He greeted me first on my birthday 2 years ago, and alam ko, ako ang una dahil pareho kami ng relo. Siguro nag-iba na siya ng number. Pero he knows that I remembered his birthday. Haaay, bakit ang taong malapit sa puso mo, di nagpaparamdam, the time you needed them the most.

5. Gusto ko nang pumasok. Simple reason: di ko na kayang mag-isa.

Sana matapos na itong araw na ito. Di ko na kaya pang umiyak, malungkot, magalit at higit sa lahat, mamiss ang taong iyon. :(

I'm back!

I'm back, I'm SO back (Ingrid Garcia, Tayong Dalawa, 2009) here in blogspot. I thought I'll post here my serious side. So drop by more often!